In the winter or 2018, I learned the terms fuccboi and softboi. I had no idea what each meant and had no idea that in the next couple of weeks I would come face to face with many of them.
I have been on a dating spree after adopting the mantourage dating lifestyle. Mantourage dating is dating multiple men at once. The benefit is that if one man starts misbehaving, you don’t get obsessed with him because you have say two or three or five more men you’re seeing that you can focus on instead. In a sense, it keeps your from getting attached too quickly. However, as I will share later…there is always a favorite…always the one you are hoping and rooting for to win your heart.
Okay…and now I continue on the recap. I think my last post was about the cocky guy in jorts so here goes what/who I’ve done after him….
The DJ – So the DJ was one of my first dating app matches. We started chatting, then texting, and before we could meet in person I told him I was taking a break and not ready to start dating (this revelation came about after I had a night of blackout drinking with a girlfriend..as I’m starting to see, I seem to have these drunken revelations quite often).
So the DJ really impressed me when his response was that he was okay with us staying friends. So off he goes on his own life, off I go on mine. I continue texting him and finally realize I do want to meet him. Our first meeting is great, we go to a bar, I’m immediately attracted to him. He’s tall, he’s got this bad boy, I don’t give a fuck and I get arrested all theme vibe that I find irresistible. I also am intrigued that he is a feminist and involved heavily in the gay community. I am more intrigued that we don’t hook up the first night on HIS account.
Second date, we meet at a bar and he gives me a gift he bought while he was traveling (which makes me blush because honestly, I get treated like shit by most men). We end up bar hopping and get shit faced drunk. We go back to his place (turns out he lives with a roommate) we have wild sex and the next morning he invites me to coffee and we hold hands as we walk to the local shop. He even offers me his jacket when he sees I’m cold. Romantic right?
The next date we meet at a bar again, get shit faced, go back to his place then fuck. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. This is how most of our dates continue. I’m really liking this guy but am starting to get annoyed about a few things:
- He never asks me out on a weekend so I’m constantly tiring myself out seeing him on a weeknight.
- He seems to have an asian fetish
- I found his twitter account and again, he just replies and responds to asian girls, one of which is his ex.
- he constantly pokes fun at my living with parents despite the fact that I’ve shared multiple times that it’s because I’m going through a divorce and can’t afford to move out
- When we aren’t drinking, we just kind of have nothing in common unless we start bashing people
- He is the worst texter. I text him and sometimes it takes hours to hear from him.
- this one is a new one – we went on a date and he takes me to the most pretentious L.A. scene full of trash materialistic young kids. On top of it, he spends most of our date pointing out asian girls (of course the slutty ones) and asking me if they are a car export model.
- This guys is making me feel insecure and we’re not even together!
So…despite all this I am still wondering if maybe he’ll surprise me and things will change because my physical attraction to him is intense. However, I was head over heels for my husband, and in the last two years when he started upsetting me and lying to me, I grew to spite him and found him physically repulsive. I learned in 2018 that ATTRACTION is flexible, it can come and go. What matters most in a relationship is common values, a sense of humor and RESPECT and TRUST!
So who knows what is going to happen with The DJ. My girlfriends don’t like him already and they havent even met him. I guess we’ll just have to see….