Guy Two: Cocky in JORTS

I’m going to give guy two a VERY quick review even though our date lasted for about five hours. Guy two’s profile was very hike-friendly. Nothing but photos of him hiking and alone. He peaked my interest because he had a “nice guy” smile and based on the pics, seemed down-to-earth and plain – the perfect guy for a date where I don’t have to worry about impressing him. 

I met him at The Grove – where he showed up in JORTS – jean shorts. He’s from out of town he says, and where he’s from it snows, so today’s weather of 60 degrees won’t stop him from wearing his JORTS! I’m not a shallow person, I mean I didn’t pretend to not notice him when I saw the jorts, but he also seemed shorter than the height he listed on his profile (something I will encounter over and over again). 

Let’s keep this one short.



  • He has a steady job
  • He lives alone and just moved his own condo 
  • He’s fit, I guess.
  • He likes me.
  • Oh and he likes me.


  • He was late to our date
  • He didn’t pay for shit on the date
  • He was SO COCKY, when he doesn’t really need to try that hard. I was so exhausted listening to him talk about how much of a workaholic he was.
  • He made jokes that were not funny, or at least I didn’t find them funny
  • He kept talking about his job, but bragging about how much smarter he was than everyone
  • His way of flirting was being very demeaning and talking down to me. At many points during our date I actually was insulting him because he said something upsetting, I think he took it instead as being sassy and flirtatious. 

So in typical ME fashion, the date went on for five hours because I didn’t know how to tell him I wanted to go home. This included a two hour dinner at Bucca – we split an entree even though I wanted my own, way to make me feel like a fatty on my first date – then “window shopping” at a furniture store and finally gelato – which I paid for, I have no idea why I paid for it when I was having such a miserable time. I think it was my weird way of treating him nice knowing I was never planning on seeing him again.

Anyways, he tells me he had a great time, I repeat back “OH YES, I HAD A GREAT TIME TOO!” We part our ways, then I spend the rest of the weeks pretending to be busy and finally sorta “ghost” him by telling him I’m not ready to date. The shitty thing is, he probably still sees my dating profile on the dating app. Oh well. THE END! 

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